From Plotter to Pantser

NaNoWriMo starts next month, and I’m gearing up to start on a YA fantasy. (For those who may not know what that is, visit nanowrimo.org for more information.) I talked about this new story idea a bit in my last post, but it’s one that has both thrilled and terrified me since it first started coming together in my mind.

I’ve tried NaNo several times and only won once. The one time I did win, I did it by plotting extensively and sticking to it. So for this year, I started to do the same thing. I already have a two-page synopsis. I started on character outlines and deep thinking about my world building. My chapter-by-chapter breakdown spreadsheet is well on its way.

Here’s the problem.

In all this planning, I find that I’m losing the joy, the fascination with this idea. Working on it has felt like that — work. And I already do too much of that with my actual job. Writing is supposed to be my fun, my escape, my thing I do to light up my soul as the Real Life continues to try to beat it down.

So, as of today, I’m done planning. I’m stopping right in the middle. I’ve only gotten through about 8 chapters of my break down. I only know vague ideas of what I want to do instead of specific, intricate details. I never finished figuring out all my characters. But I’m just going to stop. I’m freaking out about it! I am a Planner to the core. How can I expect to find it in me to write 1,667 words every day when I don’t know what those words will be?

But as much as I’m freaking out about letting go of the plan, it’s more important to me to bring back the joy. I want this story to wow me again. I want the awe of possibility. I want the exhilaration of figuring out something new. And I don’t think that’s going to come to me right now when my mind is treating it like homework instead of play.

So I am done for now. I’m going to post this blog, announce my story on the NaNo site, and then not write anything else about it until November 1st, when I start drafting chapter 1. And from there. Who knows?

Wish me luck.